The moment when I am most exposed for what I truly am. The scene is the drive home from a holiday party. I am with a group of about eight people who decided to rent a limo instead of take eight cars to the same party. Aren't we the eco warriors? I think a few of the folks thought they might also have a few drinks, so the limo seemed like a good idea.
A limo requires it's own set of party rules. First, men must scoot in first. It is very difficult to navigate to the back of the limo wearing a party dress. That rule sets up a rather cavelike dynamic, though. The men are now grouped together for their set of approved conversation items, and the women are daintily perched together for theirs. Conversation must be maintained at an appropriate level- no awkward silences, not too loud, and worse, not too softly. High spirits are to be emulated, because after all, it's a limo!
This party had been a real doozy. It was like a Bar Mitzvah for adults. Glow sticks, dj's with dancing girls. Dancing girls dressed up like African animals... is that strange? I don't know, it's LA....When the clock struck midnight or so, our group repaired to the limo. Men in first, dainty women next. So, dressed to the nines (yet comfortably, remember I drive a mini-van), and weary from a night of forced conversation and contrived frivolity, the moment arrives.
"So, Amy, what do you do for exercise?" Silence. "You know your work-out?" blink. think. fast... "Well, I like to ...sit." Silence. From the other end. "You know- sit. think. I'm a champion sitter. I like to sit more than sleep. If I go a day without sitting, I'm just off..."
There it is, in one chauffeured minute, I am exposed as the least active person in my town. Perhaps shame should be the dominant emotion, but instead a certain pride takes form. Yes, folks, I like to dream. I like to ruminate on the problems of the world, or at least my little corner of the world. I like to read three newspapers in the morning. I really love reading fiction and lately have gotten into non-fiction. I stay up late thinking. And sometimes that exhausts me. Thinking requires muscles, too. BrainPOWER. Sitting for hours at a stretch is not for the faint of head. It takes practice to develop that kind of stamina. And I can, at will, imagine possibilities. I can lay on the on the postage stamp that doubles as my lawn and look at the infrequent clouds of the LA sky and find answers. To questions I didn't even know I had.
Listen, I know that physical exercise is absolutely necessary. And I am not suggesting that people stop it altogether. I know that people overeat (often while sitting) and that as a result, their heart levels need to be elevated. But our society is in constant motion, like Newton's first law in overdrive. And I cherish the moments of clarity and calm that come from sitting and thinking.
I read an article recently that bridged the gap for me. The article stated that everyone needs some sort of daily "practice," whether that be prayer, meditation, or a walk, so that they can be mindful and at peace. So, I try to walk for some sort of physical exercise, but I try to do it alone so that I can also find the mental space to sort my thoughts. I don't need that much space by the way, it's not like I am sorting out the next theory of relativity...just trying to sort out why there were women dressed as African animals at that damn party....
I am sure this is good for my heart rate, good for my heart, and makes me a better person. I am not criticizing those that do mega exercising- we all have different needs. But before you judge me as lazy, stop and think for a moment...
Amy, I love this. I walk for exercise, too, and I find I do my best thinking there (along with in the shower and while driving). It's therapy for mind and body!
And wow, that was some party you went to!
Posted by: Kathy Sena | 03/27/2009 at 09:01 PM